Learning to love yourself: it really is the greatest love of all. It has been said so much it is almost a cliche.

Oftentimes, those claiming to have transformed their bodies seem hell-bent on obsessively pursuing an inhuman perfection in a way that seems, shall we say, less than loving? When we talk about learning to love ourselves, can we really separate the body from the mind, or, if this language works for you, the soul?

From countless interviews with the major influencers in weight loss and body transformation, we have come up with some guidelines for how to start loving your body, step by step.

Get a Gratitude Mindset

We all know how easy it is to focus on what is wrong with our bodies as a way of motivating ourselves to change. However, this overfocuses on what is wrong often comes down to self-hate vs. self-love.

No matter what your size, your body’s a miraculous gift from the universe. Created in incredible wisdom, with self-healing powers only beginning to be understood by science, your body is a marvel of integrated systems that allow you to move through this life and all its joys and sorrows.

Take a few minutes to breathe. As your breath moves in and out, feel the way the oxygen fills your lungs and provides feelings of well being as your breath slows and softens.

Meditate on your bones, cartilage, blood, and skin, all arranged to keep renewing themselves and working together to keep you alive. Think about your sexual organs like your breasts, womb, and organs of pleasure, which have or will allow you to enjoy sexual intimacy, childbirth, and raising and nourishing children.

Your face expresses your insides to those you meet. Your voice gives expression to thoughts, will, and wishes.

Every time you eat, your body processes the food you give it and turns it into energy. By focusing on the wonders of your body, you can cultivate gratitude for it, even though it is not perfect by any means.

But it is the only chariot in which you will travel through this world, and gratitude for its many functioning systems can add to our overall health, creating good vibes that foster good choices and self-love.

Even better, go outside. Breathe in the air of the outdoors, listen to any nature noises in your environment, and remind yourself that you, too, are a part of creation.

Choose wisely

Check out the options, and choose a lifestyle, not a diet. Diets are not sustainable and tend to come out of feelings of self-criticism, and even self-hatred.

Extreme ways of eating, like weight loss, shakes, no carbs, diets too high in fats and animal protein, and all kinds of pills and sprays to take away your appetite, are all based on deprivation and an unrealistic desire to lose weight. The desire to go extreme often comes from feelings of body shame.

Radically reject these methods, and choose a lifestyle that becomes habitual,  by getting into an eating lifestyle that is based on nourishing your body and cultivating health. This will always involve eating enough, and regularly enough, to feel satisfied, so that you don’t go crazy with hunger and eat the first thing you can find.

Self-care

Another cliche, perhaps, but oh so true. Love comes from giving, so when you really learn how to care for your body, you learn to love your body.

Your body is really inseparable from you. By focusing on what your body really needs, and not just on the passing whims of what you want at the moment, you are showing your commitment to yourself and your own well being.

Self-care means getting enough rest, enough fun, and enough downtime, whether that means to rest or play. Water, nourishment, sleep, vitamins, and body care (baths and showers, skin and nail care, grooming, etc…), are all essentials for feeling good.

Get yourself clothes that you like, that fit both your body and your style. This doesn’t have to cost a fortune; second-hand stores can be great fun.

(If you don’t like shopping, find a friend who does; she’ll be more than happy to help). Your body needs a good balance between comfort and challenge, and lots of positive emotions that come from love, care, and feelings of well being.

Be in an active state of self-awareness, learning to give your body what it needs and your body will return that gift with increased health and wellness. Take the time to learn how to do this.

It is not easy, but it is worth it. Because learning to love your body is part of learning to love yourself. 

This is the greatest gift of all.